Help!!!!!!

 

I don't like it!

I thought that I would tell you something that happened the other weekend, I had a panic attack! Whoops...

 

Basically, I have never liked people in costumes/masks since I was a child. I don’t even like motorcycle helmets unless I know who is under it.

A few years back before the Pandemic, there was a festival in a local town, and there were two people dressed all in blue – face paint too – and I hated it! Thankfully, I was with my Mum. I was very nervy, but we stayed out of their way. It involved an unscheduled McDonalds lunch and me failing to look before crossing a side road. Oh dear!

Anyway, somehow, I made it home alive!

Another time, we saw Titan the Robot in a shopping centre. There were large crowds watching it and I kept walking, didn’t get near and was fine – although I didn’t like it.

I have seen other costumes etc and managed to walk away from, not be near etc.

 

However, on approaching the entrance to a supermarket the other weekend, there were two white Storm Troopers and a black one too – maybe Darth Vader (I’m not sure) and I was like “Oh no, I don’t like it...” my Mum pushed me out of the way (it’s not the largest of areas when busy) and we got into the store.

They were there fundraising.

I was a little emotional at first as it had taken me by surprise; I welled up but got myself back under control – although had no idea what I was viewing around the first two aisles of clothes, whereas I am usually very visual and could tell you exactly what was where.

 

I was cautious going round the top part of an aisle as I had seen one walk in, but Mum said it probably was only in the doorway and wouldn’t be allowed in the store. Thank goodness for my Mum – even at my age!

By the face aisle, I had still lost the plot as I said to Mum (much to her amusement) that a cleanser had been ‘cheaper in McDonalds’ –  I had meant Superdrug.

When it was time to exit the store – which I was dreading – I’d make jokes about hitting them with a cucumber, using the Fire Exit instead, but we had a plan. Mum put money in the bucket, me push trolley and keep head down and stay together.

As we were queuing to pay, I couldn’t see any over to the right door, so we had decided to use that one to exit.

 

As we got to the right door, there was a red one that we hadn’t seen on the way in (that TOTALLY threw me) and then this is what I think happened:

Mum was at my left side, went to a bucket (I wasn’t watching as I was pushing the trolley around the small red one that had people in front of it) then a white one started walking towards me so I walked in front of it with my head down, as quick as I could, and got out of the store.

Only, this wasn’t what had happened. The red one wasn’t small – it was someone bending down and the white one wasn’t anywhere near me and not facing my way!

Apparently, I was nearer the black one which I hadn’t even seen this time! Mum had wondered why I had disappeared although she was trying to keep the black one from being near me as she went to the bucket!

I was outside and she caught me up and I was hyperventilating and crying. She asked if I had a bag (paper) on me and I didn’t as I haven’t ever carried one on me to be honest. I know some relaxing techniques (learned through taking control of a different phobia) but wasn’t able to use two of them, but I did eventually managed something.

 

I have no recollection of getting back to my car – apparently Mum pushed the trolley back (we’d shared one as neither of us wanted much in there) as I asked how I made it over a lip in the pavement that we often forget is there. Mum said I hadn’t and that she had taken the trolley by then.

Mum didn’t understand why I had left her and gone straight out until I said it was walking towards the way I needed to get out and she had said: ‘It was nowhere near!’ This really shocked me, and she could tell I was convinced by what I had ‘seen’ yet I had imagined it.

Even now, looking back, as I replay it, I can still see me leaving the door, seeing the red one, going round it and the white one moving from left to right and me just getting in front it and out of the door in time. But this isn’t what was real and not what happened!

I think that it was too much for my brain – four of them, other fundraisers, shoppers and a small area… Argh!

I did say to Mum after, ‘And this is why I am never short of a blog post!’

 

p.s It’s worth noting that I am Ok with them on the TV/screen etc. I just don’t like them being NEAR me!